“Rico Slade shows up at Baron Mayhem’s secret fortress to discover the front door unlocked. Slade can’t believe this crap, so he closes the door and kicks it down”
When Rico Slade goes hunting for Baron Mayhem in the middle of Hollywood causing all sorts of collateral death and destruction, only failed psychologist Harold Schwartzman has any chance of stopping him.
TITLE:
RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU
WRITER:
COVER ART:
by Mark Rain
PUBLISHER:
Trade Paperback: Eraserhead Press/Lazy Fascist Press (February 4, 2011)
eBook: Lazy Fascist Press (April 1, 2011)
LENGTH:
Pages: 112
GENRE:
Bizarro,
DESCRIPTORS:
Bizarro Fiction, Action Hero, Movies, Hollywood, Psychology, Mental Breakdown, Homosexuality, Hetrosexuality, Phobias, Heroes, Villains, Police,
CHARACTERS:
Rico Slade, An action hero of the first magnitude.
Chip Johnson, A gay actor who plays Rico Slade but is nothing like him.
Harold Schwartzman, A psychologist to the stars — who isn’t very good at his job.
Joe Pesci, Rico Slade’s wise cracking sometime sidekick who is not played by Joe Pesci or Harold Schwartzman in the movies.
Miriam Schwartzman, A harpy of a wife who threatens to start a gang bang if Harold doesn’t get her “bling”.
Baron Mayhem, Rico Slade’s arch nemesis who plans to destroy all life on earth without destroying the money.
George Proctor, A gay actor who plays Baron Mayhem but is nothing like him. He and Chip have history.
The Hollywood Police Officers, Not the keystone cops, but . . .
SUMMARY:
Actor Chip Johnson has had enough. The unendurable stress of life on the set of the latest Rico Slade movie causes him to snap and walk off the set.
“Rico Slade rips out her throat with his bare hands.”
What he doesn’t realizes is that Rico Slade is beginning to take over Chip Johnson and each crisis, from a chainsaw weilding director to buying a cell phone at an electronic store to dealing with a parking ticket serves to put Rico further in the drivers seat. Which suits Rico just fine.
Because Rico has a misson. His old nemesis Baron Mayhem is up to his old tricks again and Rico must find the villain’s hideout, stop the bomb and punch his lights out a few hundred times.
Meanwhile psychologist to the stars, Harold Schwartzman, loses another patient and becomes psychologist to one star — Chip Johnson.
Worse yet, when his wife demands more expensive “bling” Horold realizes if he gets Chip Johnson to settle up his huge bill, he might be able to afford the hundred thousand dollar necklace and save his marriage.
But Rico Slade doesn’t pay doctor’s bills and he is going to rip the throat out of any and every man, woman and Hollywood tourist that gets in the way of his stopping Baron Mayhem, once and for all.
APPEAL:
Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You was a surprisingly challenging bizarro novella. It sucker punched me with its third person declarative sentences hiding a more complex plot beneath.
I enjoyed reading Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You. It waa a funny, rapid read.
“Rico Slade also maintains a giant pompadour. Rico Slade does this so the police can identify him as a practitioner of badassery.”
I expected a funny but rather simple story. And as Rico tore one throat out after another I got what I expected . . . until first one scene and then another didn’t make sense. I was past the midway point before I realized I’d been reading it wrong. I went back to the beginning and in the second reading it all made sense.
Pay attention to the author’s use of the names Rico Slade and Chip Johnson. He isn’t just throwing them out there willy nilly. I can’t believe I it took me that long to figure it out but I bet you’ll get it the first time through.
In the over-the-top scenes — such as the chainsaw weilding director or George Proctor’s press conference — Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is also a biting piece of satire on the “unreality” of Hollywood.
One word of warning. Besides profanity, Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You has some disturbing sexual imagery. For instance, when Rico uses the men’s room, he has to tear out a woman’s throat and wins up urinating on her fallen body. Some particularly distrubing images come at the end of the story in the planetarium.
SOURCE:
I picked up my free copy of the Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You e-book in a special promotion done in conjunction with Bizarro Central. You can click on either book cover image to find out more about the book from an online bookstore. The links for Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You are affiliate links — I will make a small amount of money if you purchase your own copy through them.
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